Are Extracurriculars Done at the Expense of Family Time?
"Hurry up and eat your supper so we can get out the door!"
"We are going to be late, just grab something to hold you over until we get home!"?
"Sorry - but you don't have time to play with your friends after school, you have *insert sport, activity, lesson here*."
Does any of this sound familiar?? Do you hear similar things in your own home every day?
I remember being a kid, and family supper was important.? We sat down to eat at 6:00 every day - of course, there were events like Christmas Concerts or other little things throughout the year that may have interfered, but for the most part, we were all there.
There were 4 kids, and it could have become so chaotic if we had all had a ton of different activities going on every night.
We didn't.? I remember taking 4-H....but that was because it was right after school.? And in the spring, we all played baseball one night a week.? We went home after school every day and played together outside, or played board games, and sometimes even just went to our rooms to unwind and read a book.
Things are so different today.? Somehow, having our kids in every activity possible to ensure they become well rounded adults has become the norm.? And, even sadder in my opinion....more important than sitting down together for a family meal.
I am the mom who would rather spend the evening with my family, having supper together, letting the kids play and maybe do some homework and reading together - all without being rushed.? But, I sometimes feel like I am in the minority.? Everyone else?s kids are out doing all these activities together ? am I causing my kids to feel left out the next day at school when their friends are all talking about it?? What about all the parents that get to use that time to ?socialize? with each other as well ? am I going to end up feeling left out?
We are all so worried about having our kids in activities to give them advantages when they are older.? We want them to have the opportunity to try everything, to find their "niche" in life - that thing they love to do.
What ever happened to just letting the kids be kids, and knowing that through the years, they will have the chances to try new things and explore activities they enjoy?
Kids are in so many things, while trying to keep up in school - something has to give, and unfortunately a lot of the time, it is the family time that gives.
That just feels wrong to me.
Family should be the ONE thing that is never sacrificed.? Ever.
I watch the hockey parents going off to hockey practice 2-3 times a week, with games on Saturdays and Sundays!? And, these are 5 year olds!!? They are rushing all over the place, and there just seems to be no room for anything else.
It only gets worse from there.? I hear from the parents how tired everyone is, how cranky the kids are, the arguments when they are running late - it just doesn't sound fun to me.
Maybe I am the minority.? Well, I know I am - but evenings are for our family to be together to talk about the day, and to unwind.? Just to spend time together, and do absolutely nothing if that?s what we feel like.? And, weekends are for being together as well.
Oh, I am not a completely horrible mother who doesn't let her kids do anything!? My youngest daughter takes piano lessons at school.? They play soccer in the spring for 6 weeks.? And they are both in 4-H.? So they have one meeting a month they have to go to, and soccer is once a week when it starts. But, they are only ever allowed to be in 2 things at a time, and they don't have to do any of it if they don't want to.
Some parents cringe when I tell them this. They feel that kids need to be doing things to keep them out of trouble. To give them life skills. To ensure they aren't getting bored.....
Well, my kids are not bored.? They quite often come home and just quietly play.? My oldest daughter loves sitting down and writing stories.? They go outside and build snow forts.? And on the weekends, we are free to do anything we want!? If we decide the weather is nice, we can take an afternoon and go for a picnic. Supper time is never rushed, and there is always time after cleaning up from the meal for some reading, playing a game, or whatever else the kids would like to do.
The day will come when they are older and they are in school sports, or other extracurricular activities, and they will be busy.? And, they will also be wanting to go out and spend more time with their friends. But, for now, I will enjoy our family time together, and hopefully build a foundation that shows them what is truly important in life - and that is family.? Maybe they will continue to feel that need to come home now and then to play a game together, or even to just sit down and eat together.
Hockey trophies, soccer ribbons, dance medals... none of that is as important when you are a kid as just being able to have the time to be a kid.
?
Marie Pugh is a mom of 2 girls, who has her own blog http://supermomchallenged.com that talks about the life of a regular mom, doing the best she can in a ?Supermom? world.
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Source: http://www.momaroo.com/771543417/are-extracurriculars-done-at-the-expense-of-family-time/
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